Have you ever suffered a heartache due to a relationship breakup? No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t get that relationship back to that “happy state”. Whether it was you who ended it, or your ex, the reality is that relationships don’t always go as planned and we’re left picking up the pieces. But, there is a silver lining in the breakup and in relationships in general – growth may occur!
If you truly desire to grow in different areas of your life, consider getting into a relationship or looking at your current relationship with a different perspective. See, relationships are partly designed to foster individual growth emotionally and spiritually. Many people who have entered an intimate relationship report that learning to share life in a deep way with another person challenged them on different levels and ultimately helped them to become more loving, humble, and spiritual.
The Honeymoon Phase
As you probably know, relationships usually start off wonderful. The love chemicals are oozing out all over and neither partner can fathom each other having a fault or even getting into an argument! Yes, the honeymoon period is certainly wonderful, and we wish it would last forever. However, over time, couples hit some bumps in the road for sure. Buttons are pushed, triggers are triggered, and life may throw some curve balls.
It is precisely at this time that couples ought to look for opportunities for personal and spiritual growth instead of pointing fingers at each other and finding faults. Blaming really won’t help relationships get to the point that couples want to go. Blaming usually just brings a whole lot of negative emotions.
Look Inward, Not Outward
Relationship experts state that many individuals who enter a relationship sort of abandon self and look to the other for fulfillment – trying to fill the hole in the soul so-to-speak. Perhaps you know someone who loses themselves when they get into a relationship. All of sudden, they fall off the radar because they’ve wrapped their whole world around their newfound love. They look to their partner to satisfy their emotional and spiritual needs, which normally ends up causing pain for both parties. It’s the whole “looking for love in the wrong places” kind of thing. People look outward instead of inward for that unconditional, spiritual self-love.
If you emotionally abandon yourself, you might think thoughts like “I do not think I am worthy of love” or “I don’t like myself”. You might have a lot of pain inside and try to numb it or cover it up with things like people, food, or some other addiction. You stuff your feelings instead of working through them. Because of this abandonment, you seek fulfillment from your lover so that you can feel a sense of worthiness or unconditional love. You allow their actions to dictate your mood or worthiness.
This sets you up for disappointment. Spiritual abandonment occurs when you look at your partner to fill you up like a higher power or source ought to fill you. You look to your lover when you should be looking at whatever you believe to be THE SOURCE of love to fill you. This is where a relationship can go sour very quickly. If you expect your partner to satisfy you spiritually, you set yourself up for much frustration and disappointment. Even the most kind hearted, mature, spiritual person cannot fulfill all of your emotional or spiritual needs. Haven’t you seen many split ups because a partner points the finger continually at the other? This is the same person they fell in love with not so long ago.
How can your partner nudge you to grow spiritually?
If you feel like you struggle in emotional or spiritual abandonment and you are looking toward your mate to fill you in those ways, it is time to direct your focus away from your partner and toward a spiritual source. It is time that you take a journey within to awaken to consciousness and discover a river of love that resides in the core of your being. It is time to start lavishing love on yourself and look within for love and approval.
Relationships are sometimes a learning ground to learn to let go of your dependence upon people to feel loved and valued and rely more on your connection with divine consciousness for such. It’s a journey and it oftentimes takes years and years on life’s journey to stop looking outward and journey within for that peace, joy, and love that we so badly crave.
Sure, people can add to our lives. They can mirror to us that unconditional love we’re seeking, but if we’re solely relying on their affection for our self-worth, we’ll always be chasing that. We’ll run the risk of becoming needy, trying to fill the well of our souls with a human kind of love that only runs so deep.
Always Opportunity For Growth
The truth is that an intimate relationship is a wonderful platform for potential spiritual growth. When you can view your relationship from this perspective, you’ll go about your days differently. You’ll be less quick to judge your partner and rather, go inside to see what’s going on with you when you’re triggered. You’ll look for an opportunity to heal at a deeper level.
Surely, you will be faced with an opportunity for spiritual growth when you face certain obstacles or disappointments. Instead of pointing fingers at your partner when things aren’t going well, go within and ask what lesson you are to learn in those moments. Check in with yourself instead of reaching outward.
You can also have a heart to heart with your partner and both of you can take some time to reflect and contemplate the matter. It’s not you against your partner; you are a team. It is sometimes easy to forget that, so remind yourself often.
It is through trying times that abundant spiritual growth can occur and this includes trying times in your relationship. Continue to climb the spirituality ladder and give yourself a pat on the back for being so open and willing to grow. You’re awakening more and more to the truth of consciousness, and that’s a beautiful thing.