Each of us embodies a combination of masculine and feminine energies, regardless of sexual preferences, anatomy or whether we identify as male or female. These dual universal energies are an intrinsic part of everything around us. They are two poles, two opposites on a spectrum, day and night, light and dark, yin and yang. We all contain varying degrees of both and we all tend to lean more toward one end of the spectrum than the other.
Having a natural dominance of one energy is normal for many of us. It’s the energy that we lead from, regardless of our sex. We are all individuals, existing in this world as unique expressions of humanity and a perfect balance of these dual energies may not be attainable, at least not all of the time. Our energies can differ during different stages of our lives or depending on the situation and who we are interacting with. That said, having an extreme imbalance of these dual energies is not healthy and can negatively affect how we lead our lives.
Like everything in life, balance is key. Just as eating mindfully and getting regular exercise is important, so is having a healthy energetic system. Tuning in to and becoming aware of the unique balance of your own masculine and feminine energies is a vital part of living an empowered, abundant and authentic existence.
The concept of the divine masculine and feminine runs through many traditions and cultures. In yogic philosophy, the divine masculine is known as Shiva and the divine feminine as Shakti. It’s said that the feminine rules the left side of our bodies and the masculine rules the right. In Chinese philosophy, the male is yang and the female is yin. In Western culture, we tend to divide the energies into our preconceived, somewhat stereotypical ideas of what determines typical feminine and masculine qualities, e.g feminine (soft, sensitive, emotional) or masculine (hard, analytical and independent).
So how can you tell which energy you are leading from and which you might be denying? Which energy has been overly nurtured and developed to the detriment of the other?
First, identify which traits of these two polar energies you contain within yourself and to what extent. Make a list of the traits that resonate with you and a list of those you recognise you would like to express more of.
Balanced Feminine Energy (Yin) or (Shakti)
True feminine energy when balanced is considered intelligent, intuitive and loving. It’s associated with being receptive, having compassion, patience and wisdom, an ability to heal, stillness, the moon and nighttime, emotions and feelings. The feminine is fertile, creative, truth-seeking, connected with nature, whole, self-assured, empowered, sexual and abundant. With a balanced sacred feminine energy, you have the ability to make intuitive, heart-based decisions and feel and move in flow with the beauty of life. The balanced feminine is able to fill her own well and is a wonderful expression of life.
Traits of the Unbalanced Feminine
The unbalanced feminine is overly sensitive, too empathetic (like a sponge) needy, co-dependent, takes on too much of others (people pleaser), insecure, manipulative, depressed, self-doubting and has low self-esteem.
Balanced Masculine Energy (Yang) or (Shiva)
The balanced masculine is powerful, strong, supportive, protective, energised, physical, confident, focused and active. It is associated with the sun and light, daytime. It is independent, free, fast, logical, analytical and courageous. Balanced masculine energy is able to be supported by the feminine without being threatened, it can love unconditionally without losing a sense of self, is not ruled by feelings but is in touch with them.
Traits of the Unbalanced Masculine
The unbalanced masculine is arrogant, barbaric, egotistical, disconnected from emotions, headstrong, stubborn and relentless, going into overdrive and not resting. Unbalanced masculine energy can be destructive, create feelings of being trapped and tendencies to self-sabotage relationships and life choices.
It is certainly not a given that women express more feminine energy. It is extremely common for many women to have an overactive masculine energy as a result of cultural pressure. When society and culture at large values working hard at all costs, relying on external factors such as money and others opinions for validation and success, many women overdevelop their masculine energy and neglect a huge part of themselves. Equally, many men suffer from an imbalance of masculine energy, as they are denied their expression of the feminine, are unable to be vulnerable and emotional and instead overdevelop their masculine in an unhealthy way.
The dominant energy ruling the world overall has been the unbalanced masculine for many centuries now. That means both men and women have been driven by fear, insecurity and materialism. We have been obsessed by wanting more, doing more and producing to excess, regardless of the environment.
Consider the following:
Do you often feel overworked? Do you move through life without thinking, on autopilot? Are you always doing and striving without really feeling emotionally connected to your goal? Are you never really fully present in your body? That indicates a need to up your connection to the feminine energy within you.
Alternatively if you often feel worn out from always taking on other people’s energy, if you feel resentful and insecure or disempowered and lonely that is an indication that you have an imbalance of feminine energy and need to tap into more of your masculine.
Here are Four Tools to aid you in balancing your dual energies:
To gain awareness of the mix of energies within you, take time to meditate in silence every morning. When you check in with yourself, you are cultivating a connection to your inner truth. You don’t have to strive, think or manifest anything during meditation. You are strengthening your ability to feel the stillness inside you that is your soul, spirit or whatever you choose to call it – the real you. When you do this regularly you will begin to automatically act from your authentic centre much more often.
Laughter and Spontaneity
People often say you must carve time out of your schedule for fun, but in setting aside a certain window of time where you must have fun, you are detracting from its spontaneity and cramming it into a box. Instead try to remember that laughing is probably one of the most spiritual and healing things you can do. Laughter softens and opens us to the present moment. Remember to allow fun to soak into everything you do at all times.
Listen to Your Body
Do you have any constant complaints on the right side of your body? Or on the left? Our bodies contain great wisdom and are reflective of what is happening emotionally and mentally. Your body may be nudging you to redress the balance of your energies through sprains, strains or other repetitive problems. With small adjustments you may find that those go away as you bring your energetic system into balance.
Know Yourself and Honour Who You Are
Don’t be afraid to take time for yourself, get clear on your likes, dislikes, ambitions, strengths and weaknesses and own them. They are yours. You might acknowledge that sometimes you work best in a structured routine or sometimes you need a day where you have nothing planned but downtime. Perhaps you are most creative at night, perhaps you find inspiration alone, or in a crowd. Maybe what you like changes every single day. Maybe you need to cry more or take up dancing or learn how to take a compliment. Knowing who you are on a deep level is essential to your happiness.
These tools can help you learn how to always live from your true identity and express who you really came here to be.
Wholeness and balance are achieved by integrating both yin and yang, Shakti and Shiva, feminine and masculine. As we step into an age where women are becoming increasingly empowered and feminism is hotly debated, it’s important to keep the emphasis on equality and balance. True equality means a balance between the essence of the sacred, balanced masculine and the sacred, balanced feminine present in all of us.
We all need both aspects to thrive and flourish. Creativity and productivity, intuition and logic, healthy, empowered confidence and deep, heartfelt nurturing. A readdressing and balancing of these energies is vital for us as individuals and for all humanity, going forward.