You must have heard of people telling you to think positive or look on the bright side of things no matter what. The secret is one of the best-selling books that you may have heard of that speaks on this. These sorts of books play on societies need for a quick fix making it seem as though positive thinking will cure all your problems which isn’t the case.

I do believe you shape your reality using your thoughts and thinking positively is far better for your well-being than thinking negatively  but there is a point you might try to use positive thinking in a way that causes you to form a delusional view of reality. You begin to distort things so you won’t see what you need to fix.

A better way is positive realism. It’s reframing negative situations in a rational way. People say you can just think yourself to success. But the mind is smarter than that. It needs facts to back up its thinking.  Actions coupled with  being realistically positive will allow you to have a better outlook on your self and the environment.

For example if someone doesn’t respond to you in a friendly manner. A negative way to deal with this would be to think. This person hates me. Let me never approach him again. A realistic positive way to view this situation would be to say he’s having a bad day. I’ll still be friendly to him the next time I see him. This is very plausible and thinking this way allows you another chance to build a relationship with someone instead of giving up. Delusional positivity would be to have this situation happen a few times and still believe this. It is most likely that your wasting your energy on this person now. This is the difference.

It’s not about thinking everything is amazing or denying your feelings. It’s assuming the positive unless proven otherwise. Believing in what’s possible instead of denying it without trying. This is positive realism.